Autumn leaves crunched underfoot as Jack walked. His footsteps sounded so loud, echoing his pulse. His stomach quivered. Would she be there? He had left the note on her locker. What if it had fallen off before she got to it after class? What if she didn’t want to be with him? What if someone else saw it? What if she laughed? What if….
He came around the last tree and he could see the gazebo. His heart leapt.
My “entry” for this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. I went short, only 78 words. Never had that happen before! Read all the other stories HERE. Thanks again to Priceless Joy for giving us these wonderful prompts every week.
I love this! I could feel the anticipation building and the joy that he felt when he reached the gazebo when he saw her there waiting for him. This brings back memories of young love for me. Very nicely done!
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Thanks! I almost did a “her” pov, but I wanted to try something different. I was happy with it π
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It was excellent. π
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This is so sweet! As PJ said, you build the sense of anticipation really well with all his ‘what ifs’. I’m glad she was waiting there for him. π
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Thanks!
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Ah – you old romantic. Really lovely, perfect ending. You need say no more than ‘his heart leapt’ and we know exactly what happened. Really nice work
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π
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A heartwarming little story, Samantha, after all his worries and ‘what ifs?’ Good description of the cruchy autumn leaves and his anxiety as he heads towards the gazebo.
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You’ve been nommed before, I’m sure, and it might not be your thing, but I’ve put you up for a Leibster. Just like reading your blog- feel free to ignore if you want to! π
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Thanks Lynn! I have not for this particular one….what must I do???
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A total pleasure. Here’s my post with the rules attached https://lynnmlovewords.wordpress.com/2015/05/23/leibster-award-nominations-awards-huh-good-god-yall-2/ .Or look at this site for a choice of rules – many variations on a theme http://wordingwell.com/the-liebster-award-the-official-rules-my-first-blog-award-and-a-few-personal-secrets-revealed/
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I love love love this! Capture perfectly the emotions and highs running through, lake the what ifs. Great job.
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Thanks! Young love (and old!) has it tribulations π
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It’s great how you build up the suspense and keep us wondering if if his life will have a sudden surge of happiness or possibly be crushed with a no show!
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thank you! I think we all have been through that wondering
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