Once more we follow Priceless Joy on our adventures in writing. Please check out all the other stories inspired by this picture. Our goal is a story in roughly 150 words, today I used 158.

Alyssa hated waiting. Sitting in the waiting room, the old magazines looking up at her, she focused on the huge gaudy print across the room. It practically took up the whole wall.  The scene as alright, she guessed, but that bird seemed unnatural. Mocking her. Just hanging there, motionless,  like she was.

Alyssa looked up as another patient was called, then returned her frustrated gaze to the bird. She too was stuck in this endless moment, unable to make any plans. Finally, Alyssa’s name was called. She followed the pink scrubs down the hall, past the exam rooms to the office. After greeting her, the doctor sat back in his chair.

“I won’t make you wait, Alyssa,” he told her gently. “The tests were negative.  I know how concerned you were when you found the lump, with your family history. But you definitely do not have breast cancer.”

Alyssa stared at him for a moment, then broke down sobbing.





Filed under Flash Fiction Friday

10 responses to “Waiting

  1. This is awesome! I loved how you used the photo prompt as a framed picture on the wall. You’re right. We both went with the ‘C’ disease, but they are both so different from each other it worked out well! Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice one! You played with my expectations here – usually, waiting room stories never end well.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Waiting for answers so stressful.


  4. A clever comparison between the hovering, motionless bird to Alyssa’s endless moment. I can imagine how she felt in those minutes prior to hearing the diagnosis. Well done.


  5. Aww, what a beautiful ending! Your description of the bird made me actually pause and stare at the bird for a bit. This is a lovely story


  6. Wow. A powerful piece. Waiting for such results. Not knowing what to expect. Wow. And the message behind it, for me, is “It’s not enough to just hang in there and survive. We need to fly.”


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